I hope you had the time of your life.

I was doing my devotional this morning and thought this was worth sharing:

"Learn to laugh at yourself more freely. Don't take yourself or your circumstances so seriously. Relax and know that I am God with you. When you desire My will above all else, life becomes much less threatening. Stop trying to monitor My responsibilities- things that are beyond your control. Find freedom by accepting the boundaries of y our domain. Laughter lightens your load and lifts your heart into heavenly places. Your laughter rises in heaven and blends with angelic melodies of praise. Just as parents delight the laughter of their children, so I delight in hearing My children laugh. I rejoice when you trust Me enough to enjoy your life light heartedly"

Matthew 11:28-30... find some joy in knowing He has everything taken care of.

The last day in Jamaica was filled with emotions. I had my manicure, ate at Passage to India with Marjan, stopped in the grocery store to pick up groceries for Ryan and went to Dunns River Falls. I was too busy all morning to let myself realize it was my last day but eventually I found myself sitting between Gregory and Aaron, listening to music at my favorite spot looking out at the water thinking about the last month. The unconditional love, the hope, the joy, the friendships-new and old, the community, the lives changed, the laughs, the tears, the sweat and all of the memories. I realized I was sitting between two of my best friends in the world and the next day would be another "see you next time." It's hard because the whole time you're there, you meet new people every week. People you truly love and want to be friends with... and then they leave. It was harder and harder each week to say goodbye to new friends but it always helped having the guys there. As I was sitting there, I realized that it was my turn to say goodbye.

We spent the rest of the afternoon doing a "walk about" to hand out Bibles to people in Steer Town and visiting the 2 houses and school that were put up that week so the teams could pray over them. We started at the community center and went around until we ended up at the new school. Pulling up at the completed little yellow school room with red letters saying "Bright Beginners Kindergarten" and seeing Cynthia standing inside with a HUGE smile on her face was fantastic. She was so grateful. She'd prepared a presentation for Mr. Dusty and the team including a thank you card and a laminated certificate. We prayed over the school and spent a little time with the kids before heading back to the villas.

All day Gregory kept asking "are you going to the infirmary" and I kept saying yes I had to go bring Ryan the groceries... and he kept asking! I didn't figure out why until we were actually leaving to go to the infirmary. Gregory bought Donovan some DVD's and a cable that would connect his dvd player to the TV. How cool. We were all trying to figure out how to get a bus that would be able to run us over to the infirmary for a little bit without affecting the whole team's schedule. We were able to get Jeffery's bus and decided to go right before dinner. It was just me, Gregory and Marjan who hadn't been there all week. It's easy to scare people away from the infirmary because of the preparation we do beforehand. We explain what the infirmary is and pray together for strength and comfort which doesn't sound good to someone with a very weak stomach. Needless to say, after the week was over and she hadn't been, she really felt called to be there. Uncle came along for the ride with us so it was the 3 Jamaicans + Marjan and myself in the little bus... windows down, blaring reggae all the way to Priory.

I may have said this about each of the visits to the infirmary, but I really think this may have been the neatest visit. There were just 3 of us so it was much quieter and we were able to spend time with more people. I rushed the bags back to Ryan's bed so the ladies wouldn't stop me and then went back out to meet with everybody in the community area. Dolores came and grabbed my arm with no intention of letting go and Donovan told me that he was waiting for me. I looked over and saw Marjan sitting with Alex who is an 18 year old boy who's in a wheelchair and isn't able to talk. He has the most beautiful smile I've ever seen in my life and brings tears to my eyes every time I see it. Marjan was rubbing his face, singing to him with tears filling her eyes while he sat there with his breathtaking smile that takes away every problem in the world. Every ounce of me wanted to sneak each of them out of there and find a loving family to take care of them. I was filled with anger towards their families, specifically Ryan's. Knowing they live just minutes away and "can't manage" him... there has to be another option.

We couldn't stay long and the 2 minute walk out seemed to take an hour. Dolores held on to my arm and hugged me off and on all the way to the gate. The ride home was silent and filled with tears. We went back to have the leftovers from dinner and some short meetings. We ended up sitting under the stars and singing and praying for hours, trying to make the time stop so we could sit there forever. Eventually everybody went to bed and I sat up talking and crying with the guys until I couldn't keep my eyes open any more. I packed my things and laid in bed wishing the morning wouldn't come.

I woke up on the last morning and it somehow did not feel like the last day. I was in the mind frame that we'd wave goodbye to this team, lay by the pool and have the next team come in at night. It wasn't until Betty came and sat down with me that I really realized that this was it. The hardest part about leaving is knowing that you're leaving such close friends behind. We know they're taken care of when we're around but when we leave, they go back to their regular routine too. There really isn't any way to describe the feelings and everything that happened that morning. I saw tears out of grown men and felt things I'd never felt before. I've known for a long time that God's leading me towards missions full time and the moment before I was walking away from the busses with my luggage I was ready to miss the flight and stay forever.

Thank you to Jamaica. Your people, your beauty, your spirituality, what you've done in my life, showing me the way to God... there's nothing I could do there that could possibly match up with what you've given me. I can't wait until we meet again.

The past week I've been at Michelle's in Orlando. This is the best place I could possibly be when I'd usually be experiencing the post-missions reverse culture shock depression (whatever you want to call it...). Having Michelle here who is not only one of my best friends and a believer but has been to Jamaica so many times made it an easy transition. Not to mention having Ashlin and Ella to love on. I went straight to a craw fish boil for her step dad Ben who has been very sick the past few months. I finally got to meet all of her family and spend time loving on the girls and talking to Ben. I ate my first few craw fish... it took a little getting used to but I'm pretty sure I want to have an annual craw fish boil when I grow up and can afford it. ;) The next couple of days we went to Disney to stay at the Contemporary. What could have been a dramatic culture shock was soo much fun. We got to have breakfast with the cast (trying to determine every physical and personal detail of the people under the costume) and watched fireworks from the pool for the 4th. We saw Toy Story 3 which was AMAZING, spent some time at downtown disney and just spent time together. I thank God everyday for the people He's given me in my life and having somebody that is so loving and welcoming that takes such good care of me while I'm here is such a blessing... I don't deserve it!!

I leave tomorrow morning for Haiti and won't have any communication for a week. Please keep us in your prayers. We have a team of 10 and will be working with children from the orphanage, construction work and visiting the destruction. We'll be needing strength, health and safety.... no doubt God'll be providing for us. Please also pray for Michelle and her family. Ben passed away on Wednesday night and they'll be in need of strength as they continue to celebrate Ben's life here on earth. It's been truly beautiful to hear all of the kids talk about Ben as an angel spending time with Jesus. There's nothing like words from heaven coming out of the mouths of babies. I have been more than blessed to be able to spend time with the family and learning more about what a great person Ben was.

Thanks for reading. I'll keep a journal and update about Haiti next week. I am too excited to see what God has planned for us in Haiti- especially knowing how hard the enemy is trying to keep us away. :] I love you all.